Journey Into Fatherhood
by RoseduNuit10yrsltr
Summary: Harry Lied to Draco to save his life. Now, 11 years later, they face the consequences and try to repair the damage for the sake of their daughter.
1. Chapter 1

There it was again, that distinct queasy feeling he'd been having for about a week. Harry grimaced as he finally made his way to the hospital wing. He perched on one of the cots while Madame Pomfery smeared a salve on a first year student's hand and then wrapped it in gauze. She looked over at him as the first year left and sighed. "Well, Mr. Potter," she said, "What have you done to yourself this time?"

"Nothing serious," he assured her. "I think it's just a stomach virus."

Madame Pomfery looked shocked for a brief moment, then drew her wand and pointed it at Harry's abdomen. She muttered something under her breath and a green glow surrounded his stomach. Her eyes widened.

Noticing her reaction, Harry frowned. "Is it that bad? It just seems like a mild flu to me."

"It's not bad, really," she responded. "It's simply surprising and very rare. Mr. Potter, you are pregnant."

Harry's mouth opened, then snapped shut. He gave Madame Pomfery a calculating look. "Did Ron put you up to this? I'm not addled; I know men can't get pregnant."

"True, most men can't," she answered, "but in very rare instances, when two very powerful wizards engage, er, carnally it has been known to happen. I think the last documented case was in the 1600's. If memory serves, he was actually a mediwizard and kept detailed records. If you would like, I can see if I can find his journals for you."

"I would appreciate that." Harry hopped off the cot and headed for the door.

"Mr. Potter, who is the father?"

"I can't tell you that, Madame Pomfery. I'm sorry, but I can't."

Harry managed to keep himself composed as he made his way to the Head Boy's dormitory. He collapsed on his bed, sobbing. He hadn't been there long when there was a knock on the door. He cleared his throat and called out, "Who is it?"

"It's us, mate," he heard Ron call. "We're heading down to breakfast, you coming?"

"I don't think so," he called back. "I'm not feeling well, I think I'll skive off today."

"Okay. Feel better."

"I'll bring you my notes from our classes," Hermione called.

"Thanks."

Harry stayed in bed all day, curled around himself. Somewhere around lunchtime, Dobby popped into his room. "Dobby heard that Harry Potter was sick, sir. Dobby has brought him chicken soup and tea. Dobby hopes that Harry Potter will feel better!"

"Thank you, Dobby," Harry murmured, but didn't rise.

"Won't Harry Potter eat, please? Dobby has made it himself."

Harry sighed and sat up. He took the proffered tray from the elf and set it on the bed. Taking a spoonful of soup, he raised it to his mouth, and slowly ate while Dobby watched, shifting from one foot to the other. "That was very thoughtful, Dobby," Harry said mechanically. "And it was very good. Thank you."

"Dobby is glad that Harry Potter liked his soup! Dobby hopes that Harry Potter will be feeling better tomorrow." Dobby took the tray from Harry and disappeared.

Harry laid back down, pulling a pillow down to clench tightly into his chest. _Oh,_ _if only you were here, _he thought._ You always wanted a real family, and I took that away from you. Please make it out alive. I want you to know your child. _Simply thinking of his beloved, brought a fresh onslaught of tears and Harry wept himself to sleep.

_Draco was sitting beside a river, gazing down upon a blonde-haired baby, cooing at it, and waggling a stuffed rabbit in front of it. He was telling it the story of Babbity Rabbity. Harry smiled to himself and leaned against Draco's shoulder. It was a beautiful day. Clouds drifted lazily in the azure sky and a family of ducks swam along the river's edge. Harry lifted his baby – their baby – up to gaze upon the world. Suddenly, the sky darkened and a black shape materialized before them. Voldemort had found them. How had he known? Did he have a trace on Draco? _

_ "Ah, the happy family," Voldemort sneered as Harry clutched the baby close to his chest, shielding it with his arms as much as possible. Draco's wand was out and pointing at the demon before them. "I thought better of you, Draco. Breeding with a half-blood. What else have you kept from me? _Legilimens!" _Draco fought the intrusion into his mind, but his worry for his family had him distracted and Voldemort found that one item that sealed his fate. "A spy? I must commend you, Draco; I never even suspected until now." Voldemort sighed. "They come, they go. It's time to take out the trash. _ Avada Kedavra!"

_"No!" Harry screamed as he watched Draco melt to the ground._

_ "Harry, Harry, Harry," Voldemort kept saying over and over. "Harry, Harry..._

"Harry, Harry, wake up. Harry!" Hermione's voice broke through the dream-fog at last, pulling him from the last of his nightmare.

Harry scowled at the old wizard who usually guarded his chamber. "What was I supposed to do? You were screaming like the devil was in here when she came up. Wouldn't even try for the password. You know, she actually threatened to shred my portrait if I didn't let her in."

Harry snorted, mildly amused. "She probably would have done it, too."

"No, not probably," Hermione said, "I would have. You, however, will tell me what's going on this very instant."

"Or, what? You'll shred _my_ portrait," Harry scoffed, sitting up.

"Harry, were you in Voldemort's head again? We've warned you about letting him in."

"Herm, I have been diligent with my Occlumency. It was just a regular run-of-the-mill nightmare."

"Well, I'm still not leaving, though you don't look sick at all," she huffed as she perched gracefully on the edge of his bed. "I copied my notes for you." She dug in her bag and pulled out reams of parchment and laid them on the bed.

Ron's voice sifted through the door. "Harry, mate, where's the geezer?"

The guardian of the portrait moved out of the frame he had been occupying, and moments later, they heard him, "Well, hello again! And how are you on this gorgeous – "

"Stuff it chatterbox, if you don't let me in within three seconds.."

"Portrait shredded, yes, yes," they heard as the portrait swung open.

"Harry, what's going on?" Ron asked. "I heard you screaming downstairs."

"Just a nightmare, Ron," Harry assured his friend.

"Sure," Ron rolled his eyes. "What's really going on. You're not sick, and you're in deep with McGonagall for not getting a pass from Pomfery."

Harry sighed. He should have known better than to keep anything from his friends. "I'm pregnant," he muttered.

"Yeah, right. Tell me another one," Ron snorted. "How dense do you think I am?"

"No, Ron, it is possible," Hermione said. "I think I ran across a reference to a wizard who bore three children by his male lover back in the mid 1400's. But they were both really powerful wizards."

"Well, I guess he left you a souvenir to keep you busy while he's spying, huh?" Ron smiled. "I'll say, it might be a cute baby."

Hermione's eyes glazed over and she smiled a little. The silence was broken a few minutes later by Ron. "Wait a minute! How are you going to give birth?!"

Harry visibly paled.

A few weeks went by and Harry managed to make it to all his morning lessons with the help of a potion Madame Pomfery gave him for his morning sickness. He managed to stay fairly positive and he had no more nightmares. He was, however, woken at about two in the morning one night to find someone shaking him. He opened his eyes to see a teary-eyed Hermione sitting on the edge of his bed. He blinked a few times and shoved himself into a sitting position, reaching for his glasses. "What's wrong, 'Mione?" he asked.

"Harry, I need someone to talk to," she cried.

"Why me, and not Ron?"

"Because it's about him."

Harry sighed. Not again. "You know he can be dense and irritable sometimes, Hermione. Whatever it is, he'll realize his mistake soon and you'll be back to normal." Instead of being comforted, Hermione burst out into fresh tears. "Now,_ I've _said something wrong. Whatever it was, I'm sorry."

"It's just... It was m-m-my mistake," Hermione managed between sobs.

"Well, wait a few days for him to cool off and then apologize. He'll come 'round."

"Harry it's much more serious than any problem we've had before."

Harry sighed and tried not to grit his teeth. "Hermione, I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."

Hermione flung herself into Harry's chest and wept harder. "I realized I brewed my birth control potion wrong, and I'm pregnant. I-I didn't know how to tell Ron; so I thought I could ease into it. I started talking about how excited I was about your baby, how we would its aunt and uncle, and he seemed excited too. So, I asked him if he thought we were too young to have our own children and he said yes, especially with a war on and he wanted to wait until we could get m-m-married. Oh, Harry, how am I supposed to tell him now?"

"I think you're underestimating him, Hermione. I'm sure he doesn't want children right now because he feels he can't provide for them and he's frightened for their safety _because _of the war. Just sit him down and tell him."

"Thanks, mate," Ron's voice came from the doorway to the sitting room. "You left the portrait open, 'Mione."

Hermione sat up straight. "Ron, I-"

"Don't worry, love," Ron comforted, sitting beside her. "Harry's mostly right. I'm here for you, whatever you need." Ron noticed Harry staring at the ceiling. "I'm here for both of you. Harry I know you wish he could be here with you, but I'll do what I can, within reason."

"Thanks, mate," Harry grunted, even more uncomfortable.

Hermione snagged both young men into a fierce embrace, sobbing, "I love you both so much!"

Ron patted her back, "We'll all make it through this."

Once Ron had deposited Hermione in her Prefect's dorm and made sure she was sleeping, he slipped out to the owlery and sent off a letter.

Draco stood by his window, waiting for an owl with the latest news from the castle. He needed to know Harry was still alright, and Weasley was late with this month's update. Had his owl been intercepted? Did they know he was spying for the Order? Sweet Merlin, please don't let them know about Harry! Just when Draco was starting to think it was too late for an update tonight, he saw a tiny owl zip through the window and onto his bed. He all but dove for the owl, hastily untying the parchment from it's leg.

_M,_

_You need to know. One dear to you is pregnant. Should have told you sooner. Now G is in same state. Know how I would feel if I were you. Sorry for the delay. Forgive me. Will keep you posted._

_W._

Draco tried to decipher the message. Weasley phrased this one oddly. He got that Hermione was pregnant, but the letter made it sound as if someone else was too, and that he, Draco, was the father, which was, of course, impossible. The only person he had ever been that close with was Harry. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. No. Ron had to be pulling his leg. That wasn't physically possible. Was it? He would have to do some discreet research tomorrow. But in the meantime, he scrawled a hasty reply under the original message.

_W,_

_Tell someone of my love. Will visit soon if possible. Congrats on your news. Thanks._

_M._

He tied his reply to the owl's leg and went to bed.

Draco's reply was sitting on Ron's bedside table when he woke in the morning. He read it and threw it in the fire. At breakfast, he ate slowly, trying to figure out how to relay the latest message. Serpent? No, too obvious. Goldilocks? Too demeaning. "My penpal says congratulations to us, Hermione," he finally decided. "He remains constant to his love, even though they're far apart. Romantic, don't you think?"

"Yes," Harry and Hermione agreed.

"Very romantic," Harry said mechanically. He worried his lower lip between his teeth. Part of him wondered if Ron had delivered their news. Harry had never confirmed that Draco was the father, but Ron must know. He would have told him wouldn't he? Or would he have kept silent, as the other part of Harry hoped, so as not to endanger Draco?

The day went about as usual, though Harry was distracted through most of his classes. His pregnancy, however, was draining his energy levels and upon completing his homework, he fell asleep at his desk.

Draco woke felling nervous. For a moment he couldn't remember why, but then the memory of Ron's message the previous night clicked into place. It had to be one of Weasley's pranks, right? Even so, the possibility made him nervous and he made his way to the library. What books should he look in? He started in the history section, scanning the titles. Nothing seemed to pop out at him. Next he moved to the medical books, and soon found a copy of _Medical Anomalies of the Wizarding World_. His fears were confirmed when he discovered a listing for "pregnancy, male" in the index. He quickly flipped to the noted page and read:

_Of all medical anomalies, only survival of the _Avada Kedavra _curse is more rare than wizard pregnancy. There have been three documented cases in 564, 1473 (the same wizard also bore twins in 1481), and in 1635. Roderick Gravitas (1610-1689) was a mediwizard at the time of his pregnancy and it is from him that we know so much about this phenomenon. Wizard pregnancy seems only possible with the coupling of two extremely powerful wizards. The pregnant wizard's body will form a womb to sustain the growing child. Unlike witch pregnancies, wizard pregnancies seem to last 11-12 months. The first noticeable sign is persistent nausea as the womb forms. The nausea should abate within three months of fertilization. The fetus will continue to develop normally until "birth." Whereas it is possible for a Wizard to give birth naturally, is not recommended. It is recommended by Gravitas that the child be removed from the womb via the Muggle method of cesarean section._

Oh, Merlin, it was true. He would have to go see Harry, could he resign as spy? It would be dangerous, but they could create a safe house and have either Weasley or Granger as their secret keeper. He would have to end the Unbreakable Vow Harry insisted on taking so that he could speak his name again. He could do that tonight. It shouldn't be too difficult to sneak into the castle.

Harry was awoken by a knock on the door to his quarters. Groggily, he got out of bed, threw on his robe, and opened the portrait. There was no one outside. Perhaps it was his imagination. Oh well, he was up; so he might as well shower. He draped his robe over the back of his desk chair and made his way to the bathroom. He stood under the flow of warm water, caressing his abdomen. "Oh, Love, I miss you so much," he sighed.

"I miss you too," Harry heard and he ripped open the shower curtain to see his lover standing in the doorway.

"How did you get in here?" Harry asked, surprised.

Draco shrugged. "My invisibility cloak."

Harry was in such a rush to hold Draco again that he slipped on the wet tile. Suddenly, Draco's arms were around him and he was staring into silver-blue eyes. "Be careful, love," Draco cooed.

When Harry again was standing on his own feet, he asked, "What are you doing here? Do you know how dangerous this is?"

"I've decided to cease being a spy," Draco replied. "Weasley told me about your predicament, and I'll stand by my mistake."

Harry drew a deep breath, steeling himself for the necessary. "Don't worry, love. It was someone else's mistake."

Draco opened his mouth as if to say something, then pinched his lips together, thinking better of it. He drew a shaky breath, then stalked into the main room to grab his invisibility cloak. "You won't be hearing from me when the war is over." Draco didn't face Harry. "I hope he loves you as much I do."

Harry watched as the father of his child walked out of their life.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry had his wallet open on the bed before him. He was looking at the photo he carried in it of Draco and he snuggled close together. Oh, what had he done? How would he explain things to Shasta when he couldn't even tell her her father's name? He sighed and placed the photo back in his wallet and slipped it into the back pocket of his blue jeans. As if simply thinking about her had woken his daughter, there was a knock on his bedroom door. "Come in, sweetie," he called. The door opened and she shuffled in, still in her pajamas and flopped onto his bed with a heavy sigh. Harry put his hair brush back onto his dresser and sat beside her. "What's the matter, Shasta?"

"I've been having the same dream every night," she huffed into one of his pillows.

"Was it the one about Uncle Ron with a bunny head? Because that one did sound traumatizing."

"No, Daddy, not that one." She let out another sigh. "I haven't told you about this one before. It's short. I'm looking through a keyhole into a room and you're inside talking with someone – a man, I think. But you sound so sad in the dream. It's not frightening, just... upsetting and a little unnerving."

Harry sighed. "Do you know what the other man looked like?"

"No. I could only see you, but the other voice sounded masculine. And he was very upset with you."

"Maybe it's just someone from work who was unsatisfied," Harry comforted, "but if you don't go peeping into keyholes, I doubt your dream will come true."

"But I'm going away to Hogwarts today and no one will be here to take care you!" Shasta burst out.

"Now, where did you get the idea that's you're supposed to take care of me? I'm your father. That means _I_ take care of _you_."

"But, Daddy, I know you're never as happy when you're alone."

"That's because I miss my baby girl. But if you write me lots of owls, it'll be easier for me, okay?"

Shasta sighed. "Okay."

"Now, what do you say to strawberry pancakes for breakfast?"

"Yummy!"

Harry left the room and made his way downstairs into the kitchen. Shasta sighed and trudged back to her room. Obviously her father wasn't going to listen to her. She sighed again. She just knew this dream would come true. She just didn't know when or who or under what circumstances. She knew her father got distracted and a little depressed when she mentioned her mother. Maybe the other man was the grandfather she'd never met? No, maybe her father was right and it was just work related. She dressed and brushed her hair, placing her hairbrush in her school trunk once she had finished.

When Shasta reached the kitchen, there was a stack of strawberry pancakes waiting for her. She ate slowly, trying not to gulp her food from nervousness.

"So," Harry said, "what house do you think you'll be in?"

"I don't know. I just hope it's not Hufflepuff. Gem's definitely going to be in Ravenclaw, though.

"What about Ben?"

"I'd say Gryffindor."

With a finger, Shasta wiped the last smudge of syrup from her plate and licked it off. "I'm ready. Let's do this."

Draco was solemnly packing his suitcase. He was consumed by his nervousness and worry and depression. This would be the year Harry's child would be starting his or her magical training. It was also Draco's first year teaching. What if the child was one his pupils? Of course it would. Harry wouldn't send his child anywhere but Hogwarts. Draco sighed and he closed the clasps on his suitcase. What would he do?

He took a cab to Kings Cross Station and made his way to Platform 9 ¾, still worrying. He sighed again as he loaded his potions supplies and equipment. He was about to board the train when someone bumped into him. He turned around to find the blonde-haired young girl with emerald eyes kneeling on the ground collecting quills and and ink bottles and other things that had fallen from her knapsack when she fell. He knelt beside her and helped her collect them. "Hi," he said, "I'm Draco Malfoy. I'm teaching potions. What's your name?"

"I'm Shasta Potter," she replied.

Draco's hand stopped halfway to an ink bottle. It couldn't be. "It's nice to meet you Shasta. Where's your father?"

"He went to load my trunk for me. I was trying to find my cousins so we could share seats on the train. I'm sorry I bumped into you."

"It's nothing," Draco replied, sucking in a deep breath as he stood, seeing the raven haired man of his dreams staring at them not far off.

Harry stopped in his tracks. Was that Draco talking to Shasta? What was he doing here? Did he have a different family now? Suddenly Draco stood and their eyes locked. Harry took a shaky breath as he approached. "Who's your new friend, Shasta?" he asked.

"Daddy, this is Mr. Malfoy. He's going to be my Potions professor."

"Mr. M– " Harry sighed. "It's nice to meet you, sir."

"When Shasta here told me her last name was Potter, I had hoped you were her father," Draco said.

Shasta giggled. "Daddy gets that a lot. He won't tell me why, though."

"Darling, why don't you go find Ben and Gem. You don't want the train to leave without you," Harry suggested.

Shasta gave Harry a quick hug, whispering, "I love you, Daddy," before running off to find her friends.

"I had hoped to meet her other father. He must be working," Draco said, as casually as he could.

"I'm not married," Harry replied and turned to leave.

Draco's hand on his shoulder stopped him, "She_ is_ my daughter, isn't she?"

Harry sighed and nodded before strolling off to wave goodbye to his daughter.

Harry sighed as he unlocked his front door. He had never thought or even hoped to find Draco again, but there he was on Platform 9 ¾, preparing to teach his daughter. And Harry still couldn't say his name. He sighed again as he set his keys on the bookshelf beside the door. He stepped into the den to find Ron and Hermione sitting on the sofa. They were looking at him expectantly. Harry quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Would you like some tea?"

"We saw you and Shasta talking to my old pen pal," Ron said.

So, they still couldn't say Draco's name either. At least he was in good company.

"We just wanted to make sure you were alright," Hermione added.

"As alright as I can be, I suppose," Harry sighed. "So, any bets on what houses, the twins will be in? I think Gem will be in Ravenclaw, how about you?"

Hermione glared at Harry. He always changed the subject when a conversation touched on Draco. "No bet," Ron replied. "She's definitely a Ravenclaw. Ben's like me, though – a Gryffindor for sure."

"You never know," Hermione responded. "Anyone would have thought I would have been in Ravenclaw, but look where I ended up. I bet dinner on Saturday she's in Gryffindor, too."

"I'm in," Harry and Ron said together.

"What about Shasta?" Ron asked, nervously.

"Oh, she's definitely going to be a Slytherin like her father," Harry stated. "I'm really glad Snape and the other Slytherins on our side managed to clear the house name."

"Yes," Hermione agreed. "Imagine the scandal otherwise – Harry Potter's daughter a Slytherin. The rumor that you were the heir of Slytherin probably would have started again."

Ron suddenly jumped up, "Bloody hell! Hermione, I forgot about my roast."

Hermione hugged Harry goodbye whispering, "You take care of yourself. Let us know if you need anything."

"I will," he answered before letting her husband sweep her out the door.

Harry chuckled a little at his friends, but his smile faded quickly. _Oh, Draco_, he thought, _How am I going to explain this to you? You'll hate my reasoning._ For the second time that day, Harry removed the picture from his wallet and to gaze upon. He sank to his knees, clutching the picture to his chest as sobs shook his body.

This was the view that greeted Draco as his head popped into Harry's fireplace. Every biting remark he had prepared throughout the train ride and dinner died on his lips. He sighed, "You lied to me."

Harry's head snapped up. "Yes," he confirmed.

"Why?"

"It was the only way to guarantee your life," was Harry's answer. "I knew you would stop going to the DE meetings and that would have been the same as signing your own death sentence. I couldn't stand that. Even if you aren't mine, at least you're alive."

"Why didn't you tell me after the war?"

"I took an Unbreakable Vow. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone when you can't say their name?"

Draco sighed. He should have found Harry himself. He had suspected the lie even as he walked out of Harry's room that night. "May I floo over for a little while?"

Harry worried his lower lip between his teeth. Whereas, yes, he was delighted to see and speak with Draco again, how much could he even hope for? He had lied, after all, and kept him from his daughter. "On one condition," Harry finally answered. "We will only discuss Shasta tonight. You can ask me any questions you want about her. We will save all further conversation for another time. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes. I accept your terms." Draco's head disappeared from the fireplace and Harry headed for the kitchen and put on a kettle of water for tea.

"Harry?" Draco called from the den.

"I'm making tea," Harry called back taking down his teapot and two cups. "Make yourself comfortable." He carried the cups into the den and set them on the coffee table. He sat in the armchair and faced Draco on the sofa. "The water should be boiling in a minute," he said, nervously. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Shasta was born at 4:45 on the morning of April third, 1998. She was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen." Harry got up, took a photo of his daughter as an infant from the mantle and handed it to Draco.

There was a slight hitch to his voice as he confirmed, "She certainly was a beautiful baby."

The kettle whistled in the kitchen. Harry strolled from the room.

Draco gazed sadly upon the sleeping infant. How could he have let them both slip from his life so easily? He should have fought, made Harry see the fallacy of his logic. No, his logic had been right, it was just his decision that was wrong. Couldn't he have said Ron had been messing with his head? He would have been using a glamor to conceal the pregnancy anyway. When his daughter had been born, he could have said she was an orphan of the war until it was safe. Draco sighed. So many questions, and not one of them would be explained that night. Harry returned from the kitchen carrying the teapot. And Draco noticed that his hands were shaking as he poured the tea. He sighed. This couldn't be easy on Harry either.

"You must have kept her a secret somehow. Voldemort never knew, so you managed to keep her safe even from his spies."

"Hermione and I went into hiding until after her twins were born. For the first three years of her life, the world thought she was Hermione's third child. She's only twelve days older than Ben and Gem, so it was easy. She was staying with her Aunt, Uncle and Cousins." Harry sighed. "It was hard. I missed you so much and all I wanted was to hold Shasta, to show you the beautiful child our love had created. I wanted to hold her and sing her to sleep every night, but I couldn't until after I'd killed Voldemort. I only saw her every few weeks. She's smart. Even before she could talk, you could see her thinking, figuring out what would happen if she did something."

Draco smiled, "My nanny used to say the same thing about me. Did she curl her toes up and wiggle her feet together when you cuddled her?"

Harry's eyes widened. "Yes, she did. And when she wanted held, she would stretch out her arms with her palms away from each other and wave her fingers back and forth."

"My nanny never said anything about that one. It sounds adorable. Maybe, if your mum had lived, she would have said that was something you did."

"Maybe."

The two drifted into silence, Harry fondly recalling the snatched moments with his daughter, and Draco wishing he could have been there.

Draco broke the silence, "Why Shasta?"

"My mum was Lily and My aunt was Petunia. I thought I'd continue with flower names. The Shasta Daisy always seemed so cheerful to me. And she was born at time when we all needed some cheer."

"I'm sure she's brought you plenty of joy."

"She has, along with a few migraines. When she was six, Crookshanks clawed up her favorite blanket, so she shaved off all his fur. It was incredibly difficult to discipline her without laughing."

"What was the hardest part of raising her?"

"Apart from her questions about her mother and having to answer the question of where babies come from? When her magic started showing up. She was four and she'd been dreaming about flying with birds and woke up in a tree. It took a few years for it to finally get through to her _why_ she couldn't do magic in front of her muggle friends. She still wanted to show off, so she learned how to do muggle magic tricks and 'improved' them."

Draco laughed. "Another migraine?"

"Definitely. She's been in front of the Wizengamot a few times to 'prove' she was only doing muggle magic. She's too smart for her own good when it comes to bending the law."

"So, that's why the sorting hat put her in Slytherin."

Harry nodded, "That's about what I expected."

"Does she play Quidditch?"

"She and Ben toss a quaffle around, but it's just the two of them. James, Remus and Tonks' boy, and Gem have no stomach for heights. We'll see once she starts flying lessons this year."

Draco sighed, "Harry, what role do I get in her life?"

"I want nothing more than for you to be here with us, as her father, as my husband, but I need to take this slow. I need to tell her that she doesn't really have a mother first and then tell her that you're her father. Merlin, I can't even do that last yet!" Harry sighed. "But, I'll take care of the first conversation when she comes home for Christmas holiday."

"Harry, I can end the Vow now, if you want."

"Will it work for Ron and Hermione, too?"

"If I phrase it correctly."

"Then, yes, please. But only if you truly want to. I don't want you to feel like I pushed you into it."

Draco shook his head. "_I_ suggested." With that, Draco pulled out his wand and aimed it at Harry, "I, Draco Lucien Malfoy consider the Unbreakable Vow taken by Harry James Potter, Ronald Billius Weasley and Hermione Jane Granger to be fulfilled and concluded." A warm yellow light bathed the room and slowly dissipated. "That should do it."

Harry sighed. "I've missed you... Draco."

Harry smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

_"No!" Harry almost yelled._

_ "But, love, now that Snape's been discovered, we have no one as a spy," Draco protested._

_ "Why you?" Harry demanded._

_ "I'm the only one who won't draw any suspicion. I can say the last two years was in preparation, to build trust."_

_ Harry sighed. He knew Draco was right, but that didn't mean he had to like it. He leaned against Draco. "I love you. With all my heart and soul, I love you."_

_ "I know," Draco answered, "and I love you. But I want the world to be a safe place for anyone to raise a family, especially us. We'll adopt once the war is over. I always wanted scads of kids running around. I want to be a house-husband, raising our family to be decent witches and wizards!"_

_ Harry sighed. There really wasn't anyone else, he simply didn't want Draco in any more danger. "Promise you'll come home to me," Harry murmured. "If you can promise me you'll come home alive when this is all over, then do it. If you can't, then we'll do without a spy."_

_ "I promise, Harry. Death cannot stop true love. The world itself would object and let us live."_

_ Harry nodded, a tear making its silver track down his cheek. "We – we probably shouldn't meet anymore, for your safety."_

_ Draco swallowed hard, trying to avoid his own tears. "Just give me one more night to hold you in my arms."_

Draco awoke to his alarm and headed for the shower. They had done more than just cuddle that night. He had remained awake afterward, watching Harry sleep, trying to capture the peaceful look on his face. He remembered the way his raven hair had fallen over his forehead and draped across his eyes, the gentle flutter of his eyelashes as Draco had kissed his lips before walking out to become a spy. Had Harry already been pregnant then, or had that been the night that brought Shasta into being?

He punched the wall of the shower. How could Harry have lied to him? For that matter, why did he let the lie stand? He sighed and dressed for breakfast and his first day of teaching.

Harry awoke to find Jonquil, the owl he had bought Shasta as a pet scratching at his bedroom window. He rose and let the owl in, untying the letter.

_Daddy,_

_It's so wonderful here! Professor Snape gave a really long speech before dinner last night, but I wasn't really paying much attention. The ceiling in the great hall is enchanted to look like the sky! I wonder if it rains inside if it's raining outside? Professor Malfoy is my head of house – I'm in Slytherin. Even though he seems really nice, I'm a little disappointed. I kind of wanted to be with Ben & Gem, but we're all in different houses. Gem's in Gryffindor and Ben's in Hufflepuff. I have a new friend! Her name is Annalise Zabini and she's my dorm-mate. Can she visit during Christmas holiday?_

_LOVE YOU!_

Harry smiled. Shasta would be just fine. He dressed and apparated in to work. Hermione was already in the office of their bookstore in Diagon Alley. "I'm here," he called to her, as he unlocked the front door.

"Doing math, don't talk," was her reply.

Harry set about straightening and stocking the shelves. The section of muggle books seemed particularly empty, which pleased him as he stocked it. Hermione stepped out of their office, quill and parchment in hand. "So, red or black?" Harry asked.

"Definite black," she replied, "but we just had the rush on school books, so that was expected. We sold a lot of muggle books this year, too. We probably need to reorder more of _Le Morte D'Arthur_, surprisingly enough."

"It's assigned reading for sixth year Muggle Studies spring term. Maybe her students are all like you were and trying to get a jump on the reading. Reorder anyway, there's only a few more copies in the store room." Harry waved his wand and a list of books appeared in the air before him. "We also need more of _Beowulf_, and _The Complete Nonsense Book_ for the Muggle section, and someone bought our display copy of _History of Magic. _The textbooks should be fine until next summer."

"We seemed to sell a lot of _Tales from Beedle the Bard_, how are we on stock?"

"We could use some more, but I don't think it's a rush. Most of the copies were sold to parents of new muggle born students. Oh, but one of the Muggle mothers makes a hobby of collecting muggle folk tales from around the world. She wants to start with Wizarding folk tales now, too, since her son started at Hogwarts this year."

"I'll look into other books for her, and let you call, since you're the one she talked to."

"Sounds good," Harry agreed. "Anything else shop-related?" Hermione shook her head. "Did you get any owls from Ben or Gem?"

"No, why?"

"It looks like Ron and I owe you dinner on Saturday. Gem's in Gryffindor." Hermione pretended to buff her nails on the shoulder of her blouse. "_But_, Ben is not."

Hermione stopped mid-buff. "Really? He's in Hufflepuff, then, I suppose."

Harry nodded. "And Shasta is in Slytherin." The bell over the door tinkled and in strode Ron. His wife and best friend gave him a puzzled look. "Aren't you supposed to be at work, too?"

"Nope," he replied, "I took the day off to relax in a twin-free, work-free day."

"And, yet, you're here, not at home enjoying silence," quipped his wife.

"It was too quiet," he shrugged. "Besides, Ginny's wedding is coming up. I thought I'd go over to Madame Malkin's and get a robe fitting."

"I'm glad he's okay with her being a witch," Harry said. "I was getting worried that she hadn't told him before they got engaged."

The bell dinged again. "I'll let you two get back to work." Ron gave his wife a peck goodbye and strode next door to Madame Malkin's.

"Mrs. Hedges!" Harry greeted the slim redhead. "How are you today? We weren't expecting you back so soon."

"It's alright," she replied in a thick Scottish brogue, "I wasn't really expecting to be back. I have a few questions."

"Of course, what can we do for you?"

"Many of my folk tales have a basis in truth, I simply wondered if it was the same with yours?"

Hermione grinned. "I'll let Hermione help you with that one. She's our research-hound."

Hermione led the woman back to the office and Harry half-listened as she talked animated about the histories wrapped up in Beedle's stories. Was Shasta in Potions class right now? Or maybe transfiguration? He missed his daughter. Normally, she and Ben would be running about in the shop, occasionally tugging Gem out of whatever book she was reading to join them in whatever imagined adventure they were having.

Aside from the visit from Mrs. Hedges, the day went by uneventfully. Neville's order for a new edition of _Magical Plants and Where to Find Them_ came in. Harry smirked. It would give him an excellent excuse to visit Shasta briefly. He would have to notify Severus that he would be on the grounds, of course, but that hadn't been a problem in previous years. He could always mollify him with the newest book on defense against the dark arts, best to take it with him anyway. Harry had both books on the counter as they locked up for the night. Hermione apparated home and Harry placed a fire call to the headmaster's office. "Ah, Harry," Snape drawled, "I was just about to try and reach you at home."

Harry blinked a few times and grimaced, "What did she do?"

"It's best you come in to see me."

_Oh, no. _"I was actually going to ask if I could come on the grounds anyway. I have Neville's book order, and a new book for you."

"You do know how to get on my good side. Now."

Harry sighed. "I'll be there in a jiffy. I just need to finish turning off the lights."

Harry's head disappeared from Snape's fireplace and he smirked. It was still fun to push the boy's buttons every once in a while, even if they were friends now. He heard the pop of the floo and settled a serious look on his face. "I've sent for your daughter. Deliver your books and then return."

Harry handed the Headmaster his book and noted the delighted gleam in his eye as he took it and tucked it into his desk. Harry found Neville in his quarters, and then made his way cautiously back to Snape's office, worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

Snape still sat behind his desk, and Shasta sat across from him. She looked up as her father entered the room. "I didn't do anything wrong, Daddy, I swear!" she said running to him.

Snape smiled. "She's quite right, Mr. Potter."

"Then why am I here?" Harry asked, confused.

"Because she did everything right," the headmaster replied.

"I'm confused, sir,"

"I'm sure you are. Miss Granger, forgive me, Mrs. Weasley might have. Professor Malfoy noticed that she, as he put it, 'breezed through' the potion he set for his class this morning. Professors Longbottom, Weasley and McGonagall made the same observations for their classes. We can assume no observations were made on either end in History of Magic." Snape paused, allowing his words to sink in before continuing. "Professor McGonagall has suggested we give her an aptitude test to see if she is above her class. However, we need your permission and her agreement."

"What happens if I do test above my expected level?" Shasta asked, shyly.

"You would join the second year classes instead of first," Snape replied.

"I would like to stay with my friends, if it's possible."

"We may be able to work something out with your professors. Mr Potter, do we have your permission?"

"Do you want to?" Harry asked, turning to his daughter.

"Yes, I would," she replied, nodding emphatically.

"Then you have my permission."

"Very well. You will be tested after classes tomorrow, Miss Potter. You are dismissed."

They watched as she bounced out of the room. Harry started toward the fireplace. "Oh, Mr. Potter, Professor Malfoy said he wished a word with you if you could manage it."

On her way back to the Slytherin dorm, Shasta noticed one of the dungeon walls slide open. Of all people, she did not expect to see her father step out and stride off toward the dungeons. _Nothing ventured, nothing gained_, she thought and followed him as silently as she could. Harry stopped at the door to Professor Malfoy's quarters. She hid behind a suit of armor. She heard her father knock on the door. The door opened and Professor Malfoy's voice drifted to her, "Ah, Harry. I expected you a little sooner."

"I'm sorry Draco," her father replied. "I had a book to deliver to Neville and Severus didn't tell me you wanted to see me until I was about to leave."

"Ah, yes, good old Severus. Come in."

Since when was her father on a first-name basis with the professors? She sneaked closer to the door. No portrait, but there was a keyhole... Her father's words came back to her, _If you don't go peeping into keyholes..._ Oh, well. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. She lowered her head and peeped in.

"Be careful not to let Severus hear you call him old. He's still got a cranky streak."

"Don't I know it."

Silence and all she could see was a blasted armchair. She willed one of them to speak. She had to know what was going on here, why her father would sneak down to the dungeons.

"Harry, I need to know why you lied to me."

Absurd, her father never lied.

A sigh. Whose? "It was the first solution that came to mind. I couldn't let you be killed. After you left, I thought of a handful of other possibilities to keep both of you, but... It was too late."

"You could have stopped me."

"What was I supposed to do? Shout, 'Hey, you, come back' down the corridor? Would you have listened if I had?"

Another sigh. And who was the other person her father was talking about? Was it her mother?

"No, I probably wouldn't have listened."

"Draco, I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I wish I had handled it differently. I wish I had thought of some clever solution. I wish I could have held you for the last twelve years. I wish Shasta could have known you before now. Part of me wants to try and use a time turner to make everything come out differently, but how do I know it would be that much better? What if I hadn't lied to you? Would you have continued to spy? Would you have stopped? Would we both be standing here today except, instead of fighting and wishing, celebrating Shasta's brilliance, or would our daughter have been another orphan of the war?"

Shasta gasped. So that was it! Or... No, they knew she was here and were having her on? The door opened and she found herself staring up at her... fathers? Well, they knew she was here now.

Harry drew a deep breath before pointing her inside the room. "It's rude to listen at keyholes, you know," Professor Malfoy said.

"And we just talked about listening at keyholes this morning, didn't we?"

"Yes, Daddy," Shasta answered, "but I had to know why you were sneaking around down here."

Harry gritted his teeth. How on earth was he supposed to handle this one? Hopefully better than the last time he had asked himself that question. Before he came to a decision, Shasta asked, "How could both you and Professor Malfoy be my father? Who was my mother? Do I not have a mother?"

Harry slumped into the one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. "Technically, I am your mother."

"Daddy, that's ridiculous."

"I know it sounds that way, hun, but it's true. I became the fourth recorded wizard to conceive when I was seventeen years old."

Draco walked to one of his bookshelves and removed a hefty book. He flipped through it as he walked back and then handed it to Shasta. Wide-eyed, she read the article on 'pregnancy, male' in _Medical Anomalies of the Wizarding World._

"Oh. So, I was an accident. I wasn't supposed to have happened."

"We didn't think it was possible until it did happen," Harry replied. "But we had both wanted children. We had even discussed adopting orphans after the war, but then..." He sighed.

"But then, things got complicated," Draco supplied.

"And by complicated, you mean me?"

"Things were complicated before you, sweetie," Harry comforted. "The Wizarding world was at war."

"Why?"

"Because a wizard name Tom Riddle became evil and tried to take over our world and enslave the Muggles," Draco replied.

"But how did that affect _you_?"

"You never told her, did you?" Draco asked Harry.

"No," he replied. "I was trying to shield her from it."

"Would you rather..."

Harry nodded. "The war started with our parents' generation. My parents fought against Voldemort and Draco's parents fought with him. When I was baby, a woman skilled in Divination foretold that either I would kill Voldemort or he would kill me. I was a little older than one when he found the safe house, murdered my parents and tried to kill me. It almost killed him, in fact everyone thought it had. After I turned eleven and started here at Hogwarts, he had gained just enough strength to start his fight again. Each year his efforts were stronger, but each year I defeated him, until my sixth year when true war broke out. Professor Snape was our spy in Voldemort's camp, but he was discovered in our seventh year. Draco and I had been secretly engaged until then. Because of Draco's family ties to Voldemort, he took over as spy. That is why it was complicated."

"Oh. I see. And spies who fail usually end up dead, so you didn't want anything distracting him from his mission."

"Something like that. Hermione, Ron and I took an Unbreakable Vow to keep us from saying him name, so I was unable to find him, since he hadn't taken it off before he left."

"Why didn't you find Daddy after the war?" Shasta asked Draco.

"Pride. Shame. Hurt."

"Why not start over? I'll leave." Shasta jumped up and kissed Harry. Draco was surprised when she kissed his cheek as well. "Goodnight!"

Draco stared after her. "She's..."

"A hot mess," Harry finished. He sighed and leaned forward, cradling his head in his hands. He exhaled through tight lips, blowing out n exasperated raspberry. "What am I supposed to do?"

Draco sat opposite him, "What do you want to do?"

Harry gave a bitter laugh, "Now or over all?"

"Are they different?"

"Only vaguely."

"Then...?"

Harry sighed, "Honestly? I just want to hold you. I've wanted to hold you since you first walked out the door to spy and even more so when I thought I would never see you again."

"How do we start over?"

"Would you like to come to dinner Saturday? Ron and I lost a bet with Hermione and will be doing the cooking."

"I would like that."


	4. Chapter 4

"It is incredibly boring watching someone sleep you know, so I would appreciate it if you would wake up."

"Severus," Harry grunted, "Why are you in my house?"

"I am not in your house, Mr. Potter," Snape rolled his eyes. "I am in Mr. Malfoy's quarter's, as are you."

"Why are you here? Do you need him to brew your PMS potion for the day?"

"Mr. Potter, you are dangerously close to having whatever visiting privileges you might have been granted permanently revoked."

"It's morning, what do you want? Sweetness and light?"

"It is morning, Mr. Potter, and what I want is you off the grounds before breakfast."

"Yavol!" Harry saluted, still laying on the couch.

"Now, Harry. I don't play favorites. When Luna visits Neville, she leaves before breakfast as well."

"I'm going, I'm going," Harry muttered as he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He scrawled a note to Draco and propped it on the mantle before grabbing his shoes and flooing home.

It was still dark outside. "Tempus," Harry muttered and the shining red letters appeared in the air before him. 4:06 am. He muttered a few choice words directed at Snape and then stumbled up the stairs to his bed.

He awoke three hours later to the blaring of his alarm. He groaned and threw the alarm clock at the wall. Stupid, he should have turned it off the day before, and now he was awake early on a day off. He sighed and lay in bed, pondering his situation. Was it possible to simply start over with Draco? Did Draco harbor any lingering resentment? Harry sighed. That was a stupid question; he had effectively taken away eleven years with his daughter, of course Draco still resented that.

Harry sighed again and rose from bed, dressing in a daze. Draco and he had spent the previous night talking until Harry had fallen asleep on his sofa. He wanted to see him again, but knew Severus would get cranky if he showed up. He needed someone to talk to and Hermione and Ron were both at work. Suddenly, he knew who he could talk to. He threw a handful of floo powder into his fireplace and stepped into the green flames shouting, "The Burrow."

He stepped out into the main room of the Burrow. It looked just as it had when he was in school. He glanced up at the clock in the corner and watched as his hand settled from "traveling" to " The Burrow." He could faintly hear talking in the kitchen. He traipsed in, "Good morning Molly, Arthur."

"Harry, dear!" Molly exclaimed, crushing him in her patented mother-bear hug. "What a lovely surprise! Would you like some breakfast?"

"No, thank you," Harry answered, "I'm not hungry."

"Okay, I'll make you a snack."

Harry rolled his eyes and tried not to laugh. "Thank you, Molly," he said, knowing by now that argument was useless, if she wanted to cook for you, she would, whether you wanted her to or not.

"How are you Harry?" Arthur asked.

"I'm okay," he replied. "I'm still getting used to not having Shasta around."

"It was hard for us when Ginny left," Molly said, "but you get used to it after a while."

"I've been thinking about adopting another child, but I don't know anymore," Harry sighed.

"Well, I think it's a lovely idea. Look at Neville and Luna's family? They have two of their own and four they adopted. They're all so happy." Harry gritted his teeth knowing the next sentence before she said it, "When are you going to find someone special?"

Harry sighed, "I already did, and he gave me Shasta."

"Now, Harry, dear, if he hasn't found you after all these years, it may be best to move on."

"Actually, I spent last night with him..."

Molly dropped her spatula, and Arthur dropped his newspaper, no longer feigning disinterest. "What?" They exclaimed together.

"We reconnected," Harry said. "He's teaching at Hogwarts. We're going to try and work things out, but I don't know what to expect, or how to proceed. If you were him, what would you want me to do?"

Arthur smoothed the mustache he had grown a few years before prior to answering, "I would want you to take things slow. Evening chats, dinner, occasionally a weekend together. Don't expect him to forgive and forget overnight, especially, since he has a daily reminder of what he would feel as your betrayal."

"Thank you, Arthur," Harry said as Molly set a plate in front of him. Her "snack" consisted of scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage patties, and two biscuits. No, nothing here had changed. "Thank you, Molly, it looks delicious as always." He took a few bites before asking, "So, how are Bill and Fleur doing?"

"Well," Molly replied, "Fleur is pregnant, and they're both so excited. Oh and Fleur's talking about opening a dress shop, she's doing Ginny's wedding gown, you know. I'm looking forward to Ginny's wedding. All my babies have grown up," she finished with a sigh.

"That's what we do," Harry smiled. "But look at all your beautiful grandchildren," he said, trying to cheer her.

Arthur huffed, "With six children, including you, I thought we would have more than three grandchildren and one on the way by now."

"Now, Arthur, dear, you know we'll never get children from George."

"Says who? Look at Harry here – a perfect example of the possibility."

Harry sighed. He should have known better. "Arthur, I'm the fourth wizard _ever_ to conceive a child. I wouldn't hold out hope. Although, he could adopt, there are always children who need a loving home."

"Molly decided the subject needed shifting, "So, Harry, how is our dear little Shasta?"

"Well, Severus had me come to Hogwarts last night. She's being tested at the end of the day to see if she could skip her first-year classes."

"Really?" Arthur asked. "That's great! I always knew she was smarter than she let on."

Harry snorted, "Too smart for her own good. She knows about Draco now."

"It's about time you told her."

Again, Harry snorted. "I didn't. She eavesdropped on my conversation with him last night. But you're right, it was well-past time she knew anyway."

Molly stopped short. "You know, you never really said Draco was her father before. We all assumed, but..."

Harry sighed. "I took an Unbreakable Vow when he left to be our spy. I couldn't say his name until he removed it two days ago, and you were all too polite to ask."

"We knew, Harry, dear, especially after you confessed to driving him away to keep him safe."

Harry stared at them, ashamed, as realization dawned on him. "So, I could have asked you to find him and you might have been able to?" They both nodded. "I can't believe I was so stupid! I hired private detectives and the answer was staring me in the face the whole time!"

"Don't fool yourself, Harry," Arthur said. "You don't know what would have happened even if you had found him right after the war. Some wounds take time to heal."

Harry frowned, but nodded.

Arthur left for work and Harry stayed until mid afternoon, helping Molly can tomatoes from the garden. He scrubbed his house from top to bottom in order to keep busy. Finally, he sat on the sofa across from the fireplace and waited for Severus to call with the results of Shasta's test. Theoretically, he was reading a new book on the history of Quidditch, but he was glancing up every few sentences until Snape's head popped into his fireplace.

"Well?" Harry asked, nervously, "How did she do?"

"Draco has requested that he be allowed to tell you," Severus replied with a smirk. "He will be grading papers for another hour, but then you may either come by or fire-call him." Severus' head disappeared.

Harry groaned. He didn't want to wait anymore. He paced from room to room for forty-five minutes, then decided to floo to Snape's office to wile away the last of his waiting.

Severus smirked when he heard the pop behind him. He knew it was Harry, the boy never had been patient. Harry peeked over his shoulder to find him reading, _Defense in Time_, the book he had brought with him the previous day.

"How is it?" Harry asked.

"It's interesting," Severus answered. "I wouldn't recommend it for the shop, though. It recommends using a time-turner to change the way you handle a situation. It does not promote forward thinking in your actions, and touts using the time-turner to fix mistakes."

"Thinking like that will get you killed in many circumstances that defense spells are needed."

"Precisely. But it is interesting and worth finishing. Thank you for bringing it"

"Enjoy," Harry said as he left the office.

He was almost bouncing from excitement as he knocked on Draco's door. There was a muffled response of, "Come in," so he opened the door and stepped inside to see Draco bent over his desk, red quill in hand, marking papers. He sat in one of the armchairs and waited, a smile playing on his lips. It was so much like watching Draco writing an essay had been. That intense look of concentration, his lower lip being chewed, his eyes darting across the paper... He allowed the smile to develop as he simply gazed upon the young man. A lock of blonde hair fell from the short braid that had been securing it and hung down beside Draco's cheek. He absently pushed it behind his ear as he continued marking the paper. When he finished, he scrawled something on the top and looked up.

Seeing Harry, he wiped off the quill and placed it beside the inkwell. He grinned at Harry as he stood and strode around his desk. "You did a marvelous job with Shasta," he beamed. "She's at fourth-year level with all of her classes, except Potions."

"You graded her harder than you normally would, hoping she would have your talent, didn't you?" Harry asked, not as an accusation, just as an observation.

"Yes, but I had her brew the hardest potion she thought she could handle. Do you know what potion she picked?" Harry shook his head. "She picked the Wolfsbane potion and she got it perfect."

"That's a university-level potion," Harry gawped.

Draco nodded. "Has she brewed it before?"

"Not to my knowledge. So, what's going to happen?"

"She will be doing fourth-level work in her classes, except for mine. I have been granted permission by Hogsmeads University to teach her from their Potions curriculum until her graduation."

Harry couldn't help himself. He jumped up and hugged Draco. "Oh, Merlin! That's wonderful! It must be your brainiac genes."

"Don't kid yourself," Draco snorted. "You were never dull, you just had other things to focus on."

"Has this ever happened before?" Harry asked, suddenly aware of just how close he was to the man who had occupied his dreams and thoughts for the past twelve years.

"I wouldn't be surprised to find out Hermione or your mother had been given the option. Or _my_ mother, for that matter."

They drifted into silence, both grinning at their daughter's accomplishment. They sat opposite each other, simply staring off into space.

"Harry," Draco almost whispered. "I - " He sighed. "I need to know if you intend for me to be part of her life, even if things don't work out between us."

Harry looked up, shocked. "Yes!" He stopped himself from adding the _of course_ that went through his mind. "I wanted you in her life from the very beginning. I – " he stopped. "I hired detectives to try and find you after the war, but with just a description to go on, they kept coming up with nothing. I want you in both our lives. Even if it means I have to settle for being just your friend."

"I hoped you would say that," Draco smiled slightly.

"You..." Harry sighed. Of course, it was too much to hope for. "You have someone else, now."

"No!" Draco cried out. "No. I – I tried, but I never seemed to fall in love with anyone. My heart has been yours and only yours. I thought, maybe... you had someone and were only trying to reconnect for Shasta's sake."

"No. _I_ need you, too, Draco. I tried, once. Ron set me up with a guy he works with, but he... wasn't you."

"What's Ron doing these days?"

"He's a press agent for Puddlemere United."

Draco laughed, "That sounds appropriate."

Harry nodded. "And Hermione and I took over the bookshop in Diagon Alley."

"And Ginny, of course is teaching Defense here. We run into each other from time to time. She's head of Gryffindor House, you know. Though, she says that when she has children old enough for school, she'll have to send them away if she decides to keep teaching here. That's why I asked about your intentions. Once you make it public that Shasta is my daughter, I'll have to look for work elsewhere."

"I could always send her to a different school, you know."

"I wouldn't dream of it. She'll have close friends here by then."

"Where would you teach, then?"

"Durmstrang, maybe a university, we'll have to see what's available when the time comes."

"Draco, I'm so sorry. I've royally messed up your life."

"I'm not going to say it's okay, because it's not. I'm working on forgiving you; so, apology accepted?"

Harry nodded. "What can I do to make it easier for you?"

"I don't know. I just need time with you and with her, which I can't do here. I don't know."

"Will you spend Christmas holiday with us?"

"At least part of it, and I'll visit you on weekends when I can."

Harry smiled. "Speaking of weekends, we'll be doing dinner at seven on Saturday. You're welcome to come by earlier, if you want."

"Can I bring anything?"

"Just yourself."

"What do they think about my joining in?"

"I haven't told them yet. I'll tell Hermione at the shop tomorrow." Harry smiled, "I suspect they'll be happy about it, but it may be tense."

"Oh. Yes, our Saturday 'study' sessions. Those were the times, huh?"

Harry laughed. "Oh, yeah. I still can't believe we never got caught. What with all four of us sneaking to the kitchens twice a month."

"I'd be willing to bet Severus and Minerva knew."

Harry smirked. "What would you be willing to bet?"

Draco gave Harry a calculating look before answering, "A pint at Rosmerta's."

Harry grinned and held out a hand, "You're on."

Draco grinned back as he shook Harry's had. Was he the only one who felt the jolt of electricity through his fingers at the touch? "It's too late to ask them tonight."

"You're in a better position the gain the information needed."

"I'll let you know Saturday."

They grinned at each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry was dusting bookshelves before opening the shop. He had arrived earlier than Hermione for once, and was contemplating how to tell her there would be one more for dinner. Everything was moving so swiftly. He knew he wanted Draco in his life forever. He simply needed time to adjust, and if he needed time, Draco surely did. He sighed, not watching the enchanted feather duster as it now moved aimlessly from shelf to shelf. He looked up when he suddenly heard a sputtering noise to find the duster had attached itself to Hermione's face when she came in. "Finite," he hurriedly muttered and the duster dropped to the ground revealing his disgruntled business partner. "Sorry," he mumbled, "my mind was wandering.

"Obviously," Hermione huffed as she stalked into the office.

He followed her cautiously. "So... Dinner Saturday..."

"No, I won't take a rain check," she growled.

"I wasn't going to ask for one, it's just..."

"Spit it out, Harry."

"Draco's coming to dinner too."

"What?!" Hermione sank into her desk chair. "Well, that's..."

"Too soon. I'm sorry, I'll explain to him."

"No! No, it's great, I just wasn't expecting that at all."

"I didn't expect him to accept the invitation, but he did." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm nervous, 'Mione, and I'm scared. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? Is there anything I _shouldn't_ say? Am I getting my hopes up?"

"He accepted your invitation, so I'd say that's good sign. Just go with the flow. It will all be as it's intended."

Harry sighed and went about his store duties, still distracted.

The rest of the week flew by uneventfully and Saturday dawned bright and clear. Harry awoke with a knot in his stomach. Absently, he went about straightening his house. Ron had stopped by the night before so they could sift through Harry's cookbooks to find their intended recipes. They had decided to make some of Draco's old favorites: New England clam chowder, curried lamb with rice, steamed asparagus and spiced pound cake. The cookbooks were still strewn across the kitchen table, open to their chosen pages. Harry slipped bookmarks into all but one and stacked them to the side. Though a good cook, Harry preferred baking and had claimed the cake as his own. Now he removed a bowl from a cabinet, and brought his ingredients out onto the table. The butter needed to soften, but he didn't feel like waiting. He mumbled a minor heat spell after he dumped the sticks into the bowl and watched as they swayed down in the center. Normally, he would have brought out his electric mixer, but he felt like using his own power, so he took out his whisk and spent the next ten minutes creaming the butter and sugar to the right consistency. His mind wandered as he subconsciously continued the pound cake. Did Draco still like the foods they had picked? Would he appreciate the gesture if he didn't? Harry was pouring the batter into the greased and floured ring pan when he realized they had not chosen wine while they were shopping the previous evening. After he had put the cake in the oven and set the time, he placed a fire-call to Ron.

"Do you know what time it is, mate?" Ron asked rubbing his eyes.

"Not really, but it's light out, so not too early."

Ron sighed. He should have expected his best friend to be awake at an indecent hour this morning. "What do you need?"

"We didn't get wine last night."

"Shit. Harry, I'm sorry, I didn't think about it."

"Don't worry, I didn't either. Could you pick some up on your way over?"

"Sure. In the mean time, I'm going back to bed."

Harry nodded. "Just please don't forget."

"I won't. I promise. Goodnight, Harry."

Harry withdrew his head from the fire, feeling relieved. There was one disaster averted. He wanted everything to turn out perfect, wanted this dinner to show Draco how much he still meant to him. He shuddered at the idea of eating the asparagus, but if it would help him win Draco back, he would eat a ton of the awful vegetable, and be happy for it.

The timer buzzed and he removed the cake from the oven. As it cooled, he made the whipped cream, again forsaking his electric mixer in favor of the whisk. He scooped the whipped cream into a container and covered the cake. That much was taken care of. The rest would simply have to wait.

Knowing he would be too distracted to read, he turned on the television. The news was on, but he didn't pay much attention. He allowed himself some fantasy time. In his mind, it was Draco helping him prepare that night's dinner, not Ron. It was Draco who brushed past him to get to the other side of the counter, who nuzzled his neck on his way past, who kissed him sweetly when all was done. Harry sighed. It wouldn't be easy, but he was determined to make Draco trust him again. Could he trust him enough to consider marriage again? Harry fiddled with the simple silver band he wore on a chain around his neck. Would he wear it again? Should he wear it tonight? No, that was a silly thought. But he could make sure it was visible on its chain. Yes, he could display his hope, without seeming cocky about it. He wondered if Draco still kept the ring he had been given. He imagined Draco taking the ring from his hand, melting it in anger. He nearly wept at the thought and decided he had to do something to keep his mind from wandering so far. He turned off the television and went upstairs to his bedroom.

What should he wear for dinner? He wanted to look nice without being overdressed. Casual, but presentable. He settled on black slacks and a casual blue shirt. That should do well. Now, the question of whether or not to wear shoes... Would Draco remember his loathing of footwear and see his wearing shoes as a nice gesture, or unnatural for him in his own house? He sighed. This was too complicated. He sat on the bed, contemplating his own query when he heard the pop of the floo downstairs. Thinking it was Ron with the wine, he hurried downstairs. He instantly wished he had changed into jeans and a T-shirt when he got up that morning. Standing in front of him in his den was not Ron, but Draco. Harry's embarrassed flush spread quickly from his face down his bare torso to his fleece pajama pants. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I'll go get dressed."

Draco watched as Harry hurried out of the room. He should have called first; he hadn't intended to embarrass Harry. He had, however, thoroughly enjoyed the view of his ex-lover's naked torso. Merlin, it should be a crime to look that good! And what had he worn around his neck? There had been a glint of metal as he hurried from the room. Draco resisted the urge to work off his nerves by pacing. Instead he turned around and studied the photos on the mantle. One in particular caught his eye. In it, Harry cradled a newborn in his arms, and he was gazing down upon her, his soft smile visible as she reached up to grasp a lock of his hair. Draco sighed. He found an intense jealousy for whoever had taken that picture, wishing he had been there to capture the moment. He should have realized why Harry had lied just as assuredly as he had known it was a lie. He should have stayed. This whole mess was his fault. Harry had only been trying to protect him and their daughter. How could he have been such a coward? Instead of walking out, he should have forced Harry into the truth and worked a solution out between them. He reached up and took the framed photo.

Harry stood in the doorway, watching Draco trace the edge of one of Shasta's photos. His entire being spoke of a deep longing. He took a deep breath and strode to stand beside Draco. "That's one of my favorites," he smiled. "There aren't many pictures of us when she was baby." Hesitantly, he placed an arm around Draco's waist. The blonde stiffened momentarily, and Harry withdrew his touch. He should have known better, but oh, he had hoped...

Draco reverently placed the picture back on the mantle. "I'm sorry, Harry," he sighed. "I should have understood. I didn't. It's my fault."

"I caused the problem, Draco. If anyone should bear the blame, it's me."

"I - " Draco caught another glint of metal. "What's around your neck?"

Suddenly nervous, Harry covered the ring with his hand. "It's just a necklace," he mumbled. Why was he doing this? Hadn't point of leaving the top few buttons undone been for Draco to see the ring? He lowered his hand.

Draco cautiously reached out and took the ring between his fingers. He twisted the ring around on its chain until he found what he was looking for. _Eternity._ It was the ring he had given Harry so many years ago. "Oh, Harry," he murmured.

Draco's fingers brushed Harry's skin as turned the ring to find its inscription. Harry suddenly felt as if he couldn't breathe. Panic settled in his mind as Draco continued to stare at the ring. "I – I have to get the meat marinading," Harry stammered and fled into the kitchen. _Breathe,_ he told himself. _Breathe. Deep breaths, don't panic. _

Draco watched Harry as he headed for the kitchen. Had he done something wrong? Or was it simply that Harry _had_ just remembered his marinade? He paused, not knowing if he should follow or wait for Harry's return. After several minutes had passed, he decided to follow. He paused in the doorway. Harry's back was toward him, but it was obvious the raven-haired man had been weeping as he rubbed vigorously at his eyes. Draco silently retreated a few steps and called out, "Harry?"

A cough. "Just follow the hallway." When Draco re-entered the kitchen, Harry was pulling two bowls from the refrigerator. He smiled at Draco as he set them on the table. "Have a seat," Harry offered a little too brightly.

Draco decided to let it pass and sat across from where Harry stood. He watched as Harry took a plastic bag from a cabinet to the left of the sink and scooped asparagus stalks out of one bowl and placed them in it. Draco quirked an eyebrow, "Did you learn to like asparagus finally?"

Harry chuckled. "No, but I'm the only one eating here tonight who doesn't like it."

The curry-heavy scent of the marinade drifted across the table to Draco. He hummed in appreciation. "Smells delicious already. No one can make curry the way you do."

Harry grinned. At least this part of the evening was going right. "Thank you," he said as he moved chunks of lamb from their original bowl into the marinade. "I was hoping you still liked it."

"I do," Draco confirmed, "though I haven't had any in years."

"Why's that?"

Draco placed a hand over the one Harry held the marinade steady with. "I didn't want anything to contaminate my memories of yours. I never thought I would be enjoying it again. Thank you."

Harry smiled. Yes, this was definitely working so far. "You're welcome. I hoped you'd appreciate it."

"Harry, are you doing this all for me? Did you really lose a bet with Hermione?"

Harry laughed. "Yes, to both. Ron and I said Gem would be in Ravenclaw, Hermione said Gryffindor. Dinner was the set price. But after I invited you, Ron and I thought you would appreciate some of the foods I used to cook for you."

"So, desert is some form cake with your homemade whipped cream, then?"

Harry grinned as he sealed the marinade bowl, and washed the one that had held the meat. He dried his hands, replaced the marinading lamb in the refrigerator and pulled out another bowl. He pulled open a drawer beside the stove and produced a spoon. He then removed the lid from the bowl and took out a spoonful of whipped cream, holding it in front of Draco. "Taste."

Without thinking, Draco leaned forward and took the spoon in his mouth, pulling the cream off as he leaned back. His eyes closed and he hummed in appreciation. "It's a little different, but it's even better."

"I started adding cardamom a few years ago."

"It's fantastic!" Draco grinned as Harry sealed the bowl again and put it back in the refrigerator.

"Would you like something to drink? Tea, water, juice?"

"Water's fine with me, thank you."

There was a pop from the den as Harry drew two glasses of water from the tap.

Ron's voice drifted down the hallway, "We are saved. I have the wine." The tall ginger strode through the doorway. "Hermione would have our heads if we forgot, though she won't be drinking any." He strode through the kitchen to the refrigerator and opened it to chill the white wines, then turned around. "Hi, Draco," he said smoothly. "How've you been?"

"Good and all that. You?"

"I'm going to be a dad again, so... Great!"

"Congratulations! Are you hoping for another boy or another girl?"

"Fingers and toes, mate, fingers and toes."

"Told Molly yet?" Harry asked.

"Merlin, no! She'd move in!"

Harry laughed, remembering how the pleasant woman had become a battle-wagon for pregnancy health for Hermione and himself. "Just tell her you're making 'Mione eat fish for every meal, and she might leave you alone."

"She made you guys eat fish all day? No wonder the twins have jumped years."

"What?" Harry gawped.

"Snape gave Ben and Gem some tests to see where they stood in their learning... Gem's at a fourth-year level and Ben's at a third. They're starting their new curriculum Monday."

Draco grinned. "I guess she knew what she was doing. All three of them, huh?"

"Three of them?" Ron asked confused.

"Sorry, mate," Harry apologized. "I forgot to tell you in all the craziness this week. Shasta's taking fourth-year classes as well."

"If that's the case, what happened with us?"

"Dropped on your head too many times?"

"Oh. Yeah, that might be it."

Draco smiled. The old banter came so effortlessly, maybe there was hope after all. "So, how's the rest of the clan doing?"

"Bill and Fleur have a little one on the way. Charlie's found some lady dragon-tamer and they seem to be getting along well. Fred and George have the shop, of course, and they're doing really well with it. You'll probably encounter some of their products at school. And Ginny's getting married over spring break."

"Anyone I'd know?"

"I doubt it. He's a Muggle." Ron replied. "She went with Bill & Fleur when they went to France last year. She met him at a cafe and apparently, they hit it off. She ended up staying there the whole summer."

"Did she tell him..."

"Yeah, she told him a month ago. He thought she was teasing him until she proved it to him. He thinks it's awesome."

"That's good. I wish them the best of luck."

"Tell her yourself. You'll see her before I do."

"Fair enough."

The three men drifted into silence. Harry and Draco both stared at the table, occasionally sneaking glances at the other. Ron watched their display of discomfort and insecurity. It was hard not to laugh. Both of the others were desperately trying to act normal when it was obvious, even to him, that they both were hoping they could work things out. He rolled his eyes. Dinner was going to be intersting.


End file.
